You know you've been in UAE too long when...
(The list below will only be really funny when you have been here)
- You're not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat or a camel in a pick up
- You think everyone's first name is Al
- You need a sweater when it's 20 degrees Centigrade
- You expect everyone to own a mobile phone
- Your idea of housework is leaving a list for the maid
- You believe that speed limits are only advisory
- You expect all police to drive BMWs or Merc's
- You know whether you are within missile range of Iraq and Iran
- You believe that the definition of a nanosecond is the time interval between the time the light shifts from red to yellow to green and the time that the guy behind you begins to blow his horn
- You can't buy anything without asking for a discount (habibi, best price)
- You have more carpets than floor space
- You expect all stores to stay open till midnight
- You expect the convenience store clerk to come out to your car when you blow your horn
- You make left turns from the far right lane, or vice versa
- You expect gold for every birthday
- You send friends a map instead of your address
- You think it perfectly normal to have a picnic in the middle of a roundabout at 11pm
- You know exactly how much alcohol allowance you have left for the month (Dubai) and the code names for the open license stores
- You have a moon phase predictor on your computer
- You never say Saturday instead of Thursday or Sunday instead of Friday
- When you expect queues to be 1 person deep and 40 people wide
- When you realise that the black and white stripes in the road are not a zebra crossing, just bait to get tourists into the firing line
- When you know what night is ladies night at every bar in town
- When seeing guys welcome each other with a kiss no longer surprises you
- When you carry 12 passport size photos around with you just in case
- When you can tell the time by listening to the local mosque,
- When you start to say "Insha'allah" when you actually mean "No *$*^% chance!"
- When you overtake a police car at 140 kph
- When a problem with your car AC or horn is more serious to you than a problem with the brakes
- When you can smoke a shisha in public without expecting to be arrested
and
- You accept that there is no point in asking why you are not allowed to do something
- You're not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat or a camel in a pick up
- You think everyone's first name is Al
- You need a sweater when it's 20 degrees Centigrade
- You expect everyone to own a mobile phone
- Your idea of housework is leaving a list for the maid
- You believe that speed limits are only advisory
- You expect all police to drive BMWs or Merc's
- You know whether you are within missile range of Iraq and Iran
- You believe that the definition of a nanosecond is the time interval between the time the light shifts from red to yellow to green and the time that the guy behind you begins to blow his horn
- You can't buy anything without asking for a discount (habibi, best price)
- You have more carpets than floor space
- You expect all stores to stay open till midnight
- You expect the convenience store clerk to come out to your car when you blow your horn
- You make left turns from the far right lane, or vice versa
- You expect gold for every birthday
- You send friends a map instead of your address
- You think it perfectly normal to have a picnic in the middle of a roundabout at 11pm
- You know exactly how much alcohol allowance you have left for the month (Dubai) and the code names for the open license stores
- You have a moon phase predictor on your computer
- You never say Saturday instead of Thursday or Sunday instead of Friday
- When you expect queues to be 1 person deep and 40 people wide
- When you realise that the black and white stripes in the road are not a zebra crossing, just bait to get tourists into the firing line
- When you know what night is ladies night at every bar in town
- When seeing guys welcome each other with a kiss no longer surprises you
- When you carry 12 passport size photos around with you just in case
- When you can tell the time by listening to the local mosque,
- When you start to say "Insha'allah" when you actually mean "No *$*^% chance!"
- When you overtake a police car at 140 kph
- When a problem with your car AC or horn is more serious to you than a problem with the brakes
- When you can smoke a shisha in public without expecting to be arrested
and
- You accept that there is no point in asking why you are not allowed to do something
posted by Sand Land Dad at 12:02
7 Comments:
So whats up with the moon phase predictor? I have one but then I am Pagan - we breath by the moon.
Do you ever get used to the driving? Other than that, I could handle the rest, especially the maid!
I don't need all those signs to know that you have been in sandland too long, I can tell that by how much I miss you. Sappy I know, but true never the less.
This comment has been removed by the author.
here's two more:
You know you've been in the UAE too long when...
- You expect every shop to have 'in car' customer service
- Your idea of dining out is ordering from a fancy restaurant and eating in the car while in the car park of that same restaurant
A few more to add (the year is 2013):
- when seeing vehicles parked directly on top of the (elevated) pedestrian crossing in from of the shops main entrances, allowing Muslim ladies to walk not more than 3 meters, but for not less than 3 minutes, becomes daily event
- when you start to expect that building 10 km of 6 lanes elevated road for under 1 month is a lousy job
- when you feel comfy sharing an extra cheap Indian dining area with owners of Mazeratis and Aston Martins
- when you're threatened with Police if you say "damn"
- when Arabic children look petrified if your knees are visible in public
- when you start thinking it's perfectly fine for a man to wear dresses and skirts but no underwear
- when you start using more Bollywood than Hollywood celebrities names
- when you start paying interest on news topics covering India and the Philippines
- when you go off UAE, see non-covered legs and you get shocked
and surly there's a whole lotta more to add. :)
...You freak out if your laundry sits in the washer for more than 20 minutes after it finishes being washed because you know you’ll need to rewash it as it has already begun to smell like mildew.
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